The Duo of Destiny
by kevinjjcarpenter
Summary: Touched by the hand of God, two fledgling heroes are about to embark on a perilous quest, one we have seen countless times before. Only this time, our protagonists are not as forgiving of some of the "mechanics" we often take for granted. This is a story of questions, with plenty of shenanigans to compliment.


_"The world was veiled in darkness._

_The wind stopped._

_The sea raged._

_And the earth has begun to decay._

_The people wait. Their only hope? A prophecy ..._

_'When the world is in peril, two n00bs of low experience will rise up, and fight ...'_

_After many long years,_

_enduring much trepidation,_

_as the world hangs in the balance,_

_at the mercy of the great and powerful—_

Okay, seriously, would you shut the fuck up?

We've heard this shit before, like a thousand times.

We get the idea. We're the good guys, they're the bad guys.

Lets kick the crap and start the fucking story already."

* * *

><p>Far to the south of the great peninsula, also known as Monster Island, there was once a small town. It was a place of vagrant beginnings, populated by the lowest form of life imaginable. n00bs. If you have never heard of the n00bs, consider yourself blessed. They are the scum of the world. Bottom-feeders. The primordial insects who scurry around for an hour or two and think they can take on the dragon sitting atop Mount Hrunting. The Village of the n00b is their only sanctuary, a place where the outside monsters who prowl the fields cannot penetrate. It is here where our legendary story begins.<p>

It was by the aid of a bright, white, blinding light that our heroes entered the fray. An explosion of incandescence that engulfed the Village of the n00b, and the entire peninsula of Monster Island. There was no pretense, no explanation, and as the light faded, as inexplicably as it appeared, nothing appeared amiss—save the lone man standing outside of the town like a deer in torchlight.

He was dressed in a green tunic and a matching bandanna. He raised his arms, examined his clothes, and scoffed. "Okay ... Legend of Zelda, much?"

His name was Daggerz, and he hated it.

Not too far from Daggerz, in a small grove of rye grass, another man stood up, looking slightly dazed. He was a large, bulky man, with gleaming red armour and a large metal sword—a 'Buster Sword', if you will—strapped to his back.

"All right, what the hell just happened?"

His name was StormCloud, but preferred 'Cloud' among his friends. It was only StormCloud because the latter was already taken.

StormCloud noticed Daggerz and approached the green figure cautiously, fingers tickling the hilt of his sword. He puffed out his chest, assumed a hostile posture, and said: "Hey, you!"

"What do you want?" Daggerz frowned briefly at the man in the red armour, then turned his attention skyward, as if he could find some lingering evidence to decipher the white light that had brought him here.

"Did you know what just happened?"

"Is that supposed to mean something?"

StormCloud frowned. "You didn't see the white light?"

"Yes, I saw it. I think I came out of it."

"I as well," StormCloud revealed, shrugging. "I just woke up within the light, and I have no memory of anything beforehand. All I can recall is my name, and my class. Oh, and I have 100 GP."

Daggerz blinked. "It seems we share a similar fate. I, too, can recall nothing save my name and class. Apparently I'm Daggerz, with z, and I'm a thief, incase you couldn't tell by the clothes. Coincidentally, my coffers amount to exactly 100 GP as well. Curious, very curious."

"Indeed."

"What's your name then?"

"StormCloud."

Daggerz laughed, a deep bellow of laughter. "And I thought my name was atrocious. StormCloud? Why not TigerHeart, or Teedus? Was Saferoth taken as well?"

"Shut up." StormCloud gripped his sword and his leather gloves cracked.

Daggerz kept grinning. "Okay, StormCloud. Whatever you say." He took a moment to compose himself, massaging his cheeks until the humour bled out. "Here's my hypothesis, I believe we have been called here for a purpose, like chess pieces of God's game board, if you comprehend the metaphor."

StormCloud didn't understand half of what Daggerz was spouting on about, but he didn't say so.

"This probably means we are destined to work together, toward a mutual cause that will no doubt vanquish the calamity strangling this helpless world."

"So we're going to fuck shit up?"

Daggerz smirked. "Precisely!"

Suddenly, once more without preamble as was becoming today's motif, a victorious jingle emanated out from an unseen force. Accompanying the music was a pair of words, which appeared atop the two mens' heads, reading:

**DAGGERZ AND STORMCLOUD ARE NOW A PARTY!**

"That was ... unexpected." Daggerz appeared somewhat disturbed by the ominous occurrence, untrusting of the world around him. "Perhaps we should make haste toward yonder town. Perhaps they can aid us on our quest."

"I hope they have food."

Daggerz let out an exasperated sigh. "I think we're going to get along great. I can see it now."

"Not me," StormCloud said bluntly. "You seem like kind of a jerk."

"Just walk."

They endeavoured upon the brief march toward the Village of the n00b. It was only a stone's throw distance, not more than a couple of steps, but StormCloud was almost instantly distracted by an object in the grass, something he had never seen before.

"What's this? Some kind of dark artifact, no doubt placed here to thwart our attempts at victory. Stand back, Daggerz-With-A-Z, I'll handle this." StormCloud whipped out his sword and poked at the foreign object, as if it might launch out at any moment and attack him.

Daggerz rolled his eyes. "It's a book." He reached down and reefed it away from StormCloud before he could puncture the interior pages. "You read it."

"Sounds suspicious. You better let me examine it first."

Daggerz ignored the idiot in the red armour as he flipped through the book, scanning the pages. "Actually, this could be of great assistance to us."

The victorious jingle returned, only this time Daggerz was forced to hold the book above his head, as if his arms were tethered to puppet-strings. As this happened, a new caption of text appeared atop him.

**OBTAINED GAME MANUAL!**

Daggerz felt his arms released from their airborne paralysis. He yanked them back down in a flurry, as if he feared it might happen again at any moment.

"Why did you do that?" StormCloud said, cocking his eyebrows in a comical gesture.

"I didn't," Daggerz said, his voice seething.

"Um, yeah you did."

Daggerz said nothing. Instead, he started to skim-read the manual with practiced ability. He seemed vastly intrigued by the contents there-in, as if the book was a gift from Yevon himself. "According to this, it says it's possible for us to encounter random creatures, where we can earn experience points, some extra GP, and various pieces of equipment, such as magic fire rings." He paused, reading ahead. "To trigger these encounters, all we have to do is take a few steps in any direction." He lowered the manual and groaned. "Oh, this is going to be gay."

With a cunning expression, StormCloud lifted his foot high into the air, and leaned forward to tease fate.

Daggerz saw this and threw out both his hands in a pleading gesture. "Wait! StormCloud—"

But it was too late. StormCloud's foot came crashing down and the world shattered, as the two unlikely heroes were washed away.

Moments later they reappeared standing side-by-side. They had apparently drawn their weapons, though neither remembered doing so, and as if bound to those tethers again, both of them bobbed continually up and down like mechanical pistons.

"This is fucking annoying." Daggers winced. He tried to reached down and caress his straining knees, but his arms wouldn't obey. "Why did you have to do that?"

"We would have had to step forward eventually," StormCloud said, completely sincere. "Besides, this will give us good training for our epic final battle!"

Daggerz sighed, but said no more on the matter.

On the opposite side of the field, a strange creature had appeared, and it was unlike anything Daggerz or StormCloud had ever seen. It was a dismembered entity, with a purple torso, a pair of yellow shoes, white gloves, and a head of blonde hair, which was parted right down the middle. All of this floated in unison, and while it didn't look particularly deadly, its eyes were brimming with determination.

"I've never seen anything quite like that," Daggerz said.

"Why don't you check the manual?"

Daggerz was about to retort with some kind of jeering insult, but he stopped himself. "That ... actually doesn't sound like a bad idea."

"I'm here to help, Daggerz-With-A-Z."

Daggerz willed himself to open up the game manual, and his limbs obeyed. Where his two daggers went while his hands were preoccupied, he did not know, the weapons simply disappeared into thin air, only to be replaced with the newly acquired book. He immediately opened to a seemingly random page in the centre, which turned out to be exactly what he required.

There was a brief moment as the world flashed blue, and a circular cursor manifested around the fiend, which was soon accompanied by a list of statistics. They discernible text read:

NAME: Rayman Minion

HP: 13/13

MP: 0/0

"Seems weak," StormCloud sniffed.

Daggerz raised an eyebrow. "Yes, I think that's the idea." The manual had now vanished, and the daggers had since returned to his hands.

The Rayman Minion flexed its hands and took a defensive posture. A new line of text appeared low on the ground, which read:

**RAYMAN MINION IS PREPARING TO USE "GOLDEN FIST"!**

"Do you want to do something?" Daggerz queried with a shrug. "Or are you just going to keep standing there?"

"Well I had to wait for my turn, didn't I?"

"What?" Daggerz frowned and shook his head, as if he was suffering from a bombastic headache. "Actually, never mind. Just kill it."

"With gusto!"

StormCloud held out his sword, concentrated for a moment, then leapt forward with a half-hearted battle shout. His oversized, buster-like sword slashed through the Rayman Minion, apparently delivering 14 point of damage, which appeared above its head. StormCloud then pounced backward across the field with unfathomable ease, returning to his place alongside Daggerz.

The Rayman Minion flinched, as if its pain receptors had suffered a delay. It toppled over, and as it his the ground its dismembered limbs scattered and de-materialized with the sound of wind being sucked into a vacuum.

The victorious jingle played once again and the two champions were forced to perform a brief dance to celebrate their victory. StormCloud tossed his sword into the air, where it pirouetted several times before he caught it again. At the same time, Daggerz performed three of four back-flips and came back to earth in a crouching monkey-like pose.

As the world faded to black, both felt their coffers inflate by 128 GP, and some sixth sense told them they had earned 25 Experience points from the battle. When sight and sound returned, they were once more standing outside the nearby village.

"I think we're ready!" StormCloud exclaimed cheerily.

"Ready? For what?"

StormCloud grinned. He reefed out his gigantic sword and thrust it across the field, toward the town. "For whatever comes next!"

"Oh, now I really can't wait to get to know you more," Daggerz said through gritted teeth.

"If you say so." He sheathed his sword and proceeded to take overly exaggerated steps toward the town. "Hey, if we're going to work together, we should have name for ourselves!"

"No! We shouldn't."

"How about the Duo of Destiny?"

"We are not calling ourselves—"

"It's settled then," StormCloud proclaimed, throwing his fist toward the heavens. "We shall be the Duo of Destiny!"

Daggerz' eye twitched. "StormCloud, I swear if you say that again, I'll cut off your fingers."

"No you."

* * *

><p><em><strong>Author Note<strong>_

My hope is that you enjoyed this slither of a story. Unfortunately, if this is the case, I must be the bearer of bad news and reveal I have no intentions to continue with subsequent entires of "The Duo of Destiny". This story was written sometime around March, 2009, and while I had a lot of fun revisiting it and bringing it to a few interested eyes, I have far too many responsibilities at the current time. If there is a degree of interest, I'd be happy to consider tinkering with this world again, because it makes me giggle, but until such time, this will indefinitely remain incomplete. Sorry about that, but if you liked my style, I would implore you to check out some of my other writing, however, apparently I can't post a link here. So send me a PM instead.

Regards,

Kevin J.J. Carpenter


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